When K-Pop idol B.I first debuted in K-Pop back in 2015 as part of iKON, he quickly gained love and attention for his amazing talent, visuals, and unreal charisma that perfectly fitted into YG Entertainment.
Yet, the past few years haven’t been easy for B.I. In a recent interview with Billboard, the idol has recently opened up about one of the toughest periods of his life.
In the interview, Billboard discussed the circumstances that led to B.I becoming a soloist and leaving iKON back in 2019. The article touches upon the idol’s drug scandal that was brought to the attention of the media.
Although it can’t have been easy talking about it, B.I explained that debuting as an idol always creates an unrivaled pressure that very few can relate to. In particular, when he debuted, the idol was only in his teens and yet had an immense about of expectation placed on him.
Ever since I was young, I was overly sensitive to results because I was so competitive. I was obsessed with the need to perform better, create better music, to be the best. I wasn’t mature enough to handle the pressure that I put upon myself.
— B.I
B.I then admitted that he had people to talk to about how he was feeling, but his personality wasn’t something that made it easy. Being isolated in such a tough industry takes its toll, and B.I revealed his decision came from a moment of weakness but that it’s one he regrets.
I guess you could say it felt like survival, of having to win, to fight. In a moment of weakness, I thought maybe I could relieve that burden. Even now, I regret that constantly. I shouldn’t have done it, but felt like I was in a corner, and I made the wrong decision. I was so young and stupid.
— B.I
Even before the news became public, B.I explained that he lived in fear of people knowing, and it was why he became so obsessed with music. For him, his music was a way to reconnect with himself and what it meant to be a good person, especially because he wanted to show that to his fans.
Yet, the news breaking still came as a shock. Showcasing his true personality, B.I explained that the worst thing was knowing he’d disappointed those around him, including his family, friends, and fans. Yet, his family and fans continued to show their support throughout everything.
My mind was blanking out. Then I started thinking about the people that I had disappointed and hurt – my family, my friends, my fans – and hated myself. My family didn’t say much to me, they just held me and we cried together. It consoled me but also hurt that much more.
— B.I
Although he tried to stay strong, even B.I admitted there was a moment that he wasn’t proud of during the time. B.I explained that the scale of the story meant he had a “victim mentality” but has been trying to change that, admitting that the only person to blame was himself.
I’m trying to change people’s perception of me, not just by talking, but by my actions. One by one, I’m trying to persuade everyone I meet. I can’t say that’s definitely happening right now but I’m going to make sure that it does.
— B.I
Yet, it was the fans who really helped him out of the slump. B.I explained that he attended an event where he saw fans post letters for him and it was at that moment that he decided to continue pursuing his dream. Fans even showcased their support by sending him equipment and messages of support.
I made up my mind that I had to release an album, but I was terrified. I went ahead with one thought — to repay all the people who were by my side.
— B.I
After receiving his sentence of four years probation, B.I continues to create music and send love to his fans and those closest to him who have been there throughout it all.
