DPR IAN Gets Candid About Living With Bipolar 1 Disorder And How It Affects His Music
In a new interview on The Zach Sang Show, DPR IAN opened up about a variety of topics including his time as a member of C-Clown and got very real about his struggles with mental illness and how it can negatively (and positively) affect his music.
DPR Ian was active as a member of C-Clown from the group’s debut to its disbandment in 2015. He says that he was street casted and had no idea what he was walking into at the time, describing the entire experience as “signing his life away.”
After the group’s disbandment, DPR Ian was able to venture into new paths including film-making which led to the inception of DPR (Dream Perfect Regime) and his new musical career.
When asked about the role music played in his life, IAN admits to listening music heavily in his teen years, something he described as “getting him through his highs.” He then explains that he was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 in middle school after having a manic episode in class.
I remember I was sitting in math class and then all of all sudden, I was ok and then I just started bawling out […] I freaked out and I ran, I ran outside and that journey from there to the toilet felt like a whole trip of like things coming at me, and everything was slow motion. I remember thinking ‘its such a weird feeling I’ve never felt before’
— DPR IAN
It took several of these episodes for him to get diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and as part of his treatment, music was suggested as a coping method as a way of channeling his feelings through creativity.
He also discussed how his highs and lows can negatively affect the work that he does. As an example, Ian says that if he begins a project while he is in a high and starts dipping before finishing, he’s not able to work on that project anymore until he hits another high in his cycle. Recently, he says that he was at a shoot where his mood switched “like a light” and the next thing he knew was that he was in the bathroom and was surrounded by broken glass.
During one portion of the interview, Ian admitted that he was “dipping,” referring to his mood dropping from his mood swings and making him much more mellow. He also discusses how the lows that come about from his mood swings led to some of his best work, and how he has to avoid becoming to reliant on his lows for creation.
In the beginning, I only knew how to use this when I was high. When I got older, I started channeling that when I was in my lows and I think that’s when it got dangerous. I kind of started f*cking around and it just — the stuff that came out from here, though, was so much more impactful. […] It was just so much more beautiful.
— DPR IAN
According to IAN, one downfall of this process is that he is not able to listen to or relate to his own music after it has been created because he is disconnected from the experience that created the work.
Despite the struggles creation can lead to, DPR Ian loves the community that his music has created and he stated that he will continue doing what he loves.
Check out the full interview below:
