Block B’s Jaehyo Opens Up About His Past Depression and Dark Thoughts

Warning: This article will refer to both depression and suicide.

Block B’s Jaehyo recently opened his photo exhibition “Momento”, which will run from November 28 to December 19. During this photo exhibition, one of his personal diary entries was on display.

His journal entry, dated from November 30, detailed his past struggles with depression and even contemplating suicide.

“Depression.

My childhood was a lot different from how positive and happy I am today.

My parents love was too much, to the point where I thought they were too strict. I couldn’t move forward because I was stuck with thoughts in my head such as “What am I…?” and “Why was I born?”

I was like a clock pin, continuously going in circles. Around the clock was things like home…. school…. studying.

Before I realized, the seed called depression had appeared in my heart and every night, that seed grew by eating away at my anxiety.

Once I realized that depression’s existence, the seed had grown like ivy, spread out too much to stop. It finally grabbed hold of me and brought me to the apartment rooftop.

I didn’t even have the courage to jump…

I just stared at the ledge and looked at the ground.

I cried and kept crying…

Nobody except the stars and the sky know about my secret.

My first pain that I am revealing for the first time.

— Ahn Jae Hyo’s Diary

Jaehyo also mentioned to a fan who attended his exhibition that he would be enlisting on December 20, so he would be unable to attend Taeil’s first solo concert. Seven Seasons has not yet confirmed this news.

직접 들었다…

외국팬:군대 가요?
효:네 가요
팬:언제가요ㅠ?
효:20일날 가요
팬:아진짜요ㅠ?
효:네 그래서 태일이 콘서트도 못가는거에요
팬:생일도…
효:생일도 군대에서 보내고 (해맑)

— 순대간 .오지랖넓음 (@Q_bbc1) November 30, 2018