Amber recently held an exclusive interview with People Magazine, where she talked about Sulli‘s passing and the many personal struggles she faced while she promoted with f(x).
When talking about Sulli, Amber mentioned how she felt looking back at the time before her passing.
It was just so hard. I felt really angry. I was angry at myself, too, because Sulli and I talked a few weeks before. It’s like, ‘Man, if I just sent another text, what could have happened?’
[Sulli] wasn’t that type of person to actually let things get to her.
We grew up learning that sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, but words do hurt. They physically can hurt.
— Amber
Sulli was consistently attacked by netizens for her beliefs such as going out in public without a bra on.
Amber also shared her experiences in the industry, sharing that it was fun at the beginning, but then it took a turn in the opposite direction.
It was fun at first, but later the loneliness and all that stuff settles in.
— Amber
She shared that she was essentially “going on fumes”, which means she was working without a single break, running out of energy. Her “worst relationship with food” was not any additional help to her energy, with her diet sometimes only consisting of one can of Coca-Cola a day.
You’d literally wake up, go to a job, go back to sleep in the car and drive to the next job. We were grinding.
We honestly talked more about diets than music … We were taught to starve.
— Amber
The negative comments she received, whether it be for her tomboy image or her skin tone, ultimately had an affect on her as well.
I didn’t realize how much these comments actually hurt me. I am now a lot more open with my friends, and this actually helped me out a lot.
— Amber
Amber even revealed she had considered plastic surgery before, but Krystal talked her out of it.
I thought I really did need it.
Luckily Krystal talked me out of it. She was like, ‘Amber, you don’t need it. You don’t need it.’ We’re told that we need these things when we actually don’t. Our bodies are still developing.]
— Amber
She concluded the interview by sharing how she is continuing to work to improve her mental health through therapy, and vowed to continue working hard to help others.
It took years for my body to rehabilitate. [My anxiety is] to a point that I know that I need to start taking care of my mental health. I’m working hard every day to try to figure it out.
I’m extremely happy to be part of someone’s healing process. All I want to do is keep working hard, and create music that will brighten somebody’s day.
— Amber
