Former AOA Member Mina Takes Aim At Jimin Again, From Her Suicide Attempts And Jimin’s Torment, To FNC Not Caring
Content Warning
Former AOA member Mina uploaded a series of posts, once again taking fire at Jimin for the torment she caused to both herself and her family.
She posted her first, longest message directed towards Jimin on Instagram at 8:01 pm KST, explaining the torment Jimin caused her and her family, and Jimin’s name permanently on any suicide note she wrote.
Looks like it will be hard to get an apology from you. Whenever a new manager comes, she tells them ‘that’s the scary bitch who pretends to be a fool’. Why would I pretend to be an idiot if I am a scary bitch?
When I come back from an audition, you’re just like ‘I don’t know what you’re doing’. If I work hard on my diet because I want my face to come out well, you say ‘Mina, what’s up with your body? I fucking hate what I’m seeing, gain some weight.’
When I was a trainee, you slapped me and said ‘it’s because you were at the front.’ We had to say ‘Good night’, ‘Yes, I’m sorry’, and ‘Thank you’ [to you].
Unconditionally, you would bring people to the dorm, and go do as you wish. It got so loud, that I had to go to the practice room to sleep.
‘Hey, does it seem like XX changed recently?’ You would take turns cursing me out to the other members, saying a lot of things I can’t say here.
Ah, there was one time at the shop where I didn’t greet you first and I heard something, do you remember?
And I’ve only written the ‘weak’ ones. There have been a lot more over the past 10 years, but I have to take it easy now.
I have nothing to lose, but worse, nothing to fear because of you? The thing I feared most was you. To me, your existence was stressful.
Can’t you tell from just reading what I’ve written by now? It was just routine for me, and now I’ve left it all behind. What’s left is the mental illness. Together with some harsh words.
In my suicide note, your name was always in there. If you read it later, maybe you would feel guilty.
I collapsed due to seizures caused by stress. I tried to kill myself and collapsed. My mom cried. My sister has cancer and because of me, she suddenly had to go to the emergency room.
I never talked back to you, and from my trainee time to when we debuted to our promotions, did I ever do something wrong to you? If I did, say it. Did you hate me because I am not the type who is good at flattery?
Even still, I did my best to not get scolded by you and approached you with a smile. I have pride too.
I was surprised when you were taking psychiatric medication because you said you were having a hard time. You said everything you wanted to and did almost everything you wanted to, I was so envious of how one-sided things were.
Well, I’m sure we each had our own individual difficulties. But weren’t you able to make it clear that you were having a hard time? I had to suppress my feelings no matter what.
Right now, I’m not in the proper state of mind. But the person who made me like this is you. You are the one who made my family suffer.
I used to have a strong mentality. When I was a trainee, everyone was like that. Because you were the leader, you were like this. Let’s feel sorry for her. As we got older, it was the same. Because of you, I couldn’t tell anyone that I was having a hard time.
When it was time for the contract renewals, I eventually burst and that’s when my family realized. But did my family ever say anything to you? I am a daughter, and I didn’t even get angry when I tried to kill myself because of someone.
You cried when you wanted to cry, and you got a lot of support. I thought I would get scolded by you so for 10 years… How the hell did I spend it? In the end because of you, I took nearly 200 sleeping pills. Then I collapsed and don’t remember anything else.
On an A4 paper, I wrote your name and ‘Mom, I’m sorry.’ And even now, I spend every day feeling like that. I’m already broken, so everything is broken.
My mom got depression because of me? It’s because of you, the one person, that I don’t want to keep living. Honestly, the only reason is just you.
Even if you come to me now and sincerely apologize, I’m already so broken, constantly collapsing, suddenly crying, suddenly taking out a knife, and writing Shin Jimin on a paper. I am so broken that all my pent-up anger is making me go crazy.
I feel so sorry to my mom, dad, and sister. Can you tell me why you hated me so much? It would be pretty bad for you to say you didn’t hate me.
It’s not fair for me. You may wonder why I’m making such a fuss about it, but it’s just so, so unfair. I feel like I’m going crazy from the moment I open my eyes. It’s just so, so hard.
I lived in fear with my heart trembling because I was afraid you would say something to me if I turned around to look back at you while I was sitting in the passenger seat.
I want an apology, but what difference does it make? I don’t even know. I just want to go crazy and do whatever I want. My anger is about to explode out. But, there’s no reason to suffer more.
Shin Jimin unnie? I wish you could feel how I felt for just one day. I want to turn time around and switch it for just one day. You’ve been living so comfortably.
Say something, let’s hear it. What did you hate about me so much, hm? I hate you too. What would I be like if it wasn’t for you? At least I wouldn’t have been crying everyday, filled with nightmares, and attempting to take my life.
I didn’t do anything to you, so I wanted to be honest and bring this up. I just want everyone to know. I am mentally ill because of her. So that’s why I’m doing this. Isn’t that pathetic? I tried to suppress and suppress it, but it burst and I couldn’t handle it, so I couldn’t hide it.
— Kwon Mina
She followed that up with another post at 8:18 pm KST, elaborating on her some of her thoughts when she was feeling suicidal.
She’s taking medicine before she sleep. Good for her. I’m holding back my tears as I soak my head in the sink. Even if I take dozens of sleeping pills, I can’t sleep. Isn’t that amazing?
I stay up for days before I sleep. I’m spaced out even if I cut my wrists with a knife and my home becomes a bloodbath. While spaced-out, I’ve thought about when I would die and how many people would run in for me to try and save me. Why are there so many people suffering because of me?
Are you sleeping well? As soon as I hear that, I get angry again, start crying, and my temper flares. My anger also just increases. I’m weird. totally weird. Try it yourself, put your head in the sink every day. It really feels like being a homeless person. Really, you are such a bad person. You just have to experience it yourself. I also want to sleep. I just want to get one proper night of sleep.
Why is everyone around me suffering because of you? Why did you make me seem like the bad person? Hm? I want to stop causing heartbreak too. But I’m just so angry. It’s so unfair. You’re making someone go crazy. Don’t sleep, and apologize instead. Get to your senses. Don’t try to ruin me any more. Wow, I’m so angry.
— Mina
A third post at 8:26 pm KST showed how Mina even told FNC Entertainment about it, and nothing happened.
I won’t be able to achieve my dream anymore will I?
But if you are a person, don’t achieve yours either. At the end of everything, even in my half-idiot state of not being able to open my eyes properly and stumbling on my words because of taking hundreds of sleeping pills, I told FNC that it was because of Jimin, and yet the company did not listen to what I had to say.
Who do I grab a hold of and tell my story to? Don’t be mad you say? I’m like this every day… I’ve lived like this all along… no one knew because I never said anything..
I’ve been hiding medicine boxes since I was 21 and held everything in by taking pills. I’ve lived like this because of Shin Jimin… because of the unnie that is sleeping well right now.
— Mina
And finally, she posted a fourth and as of now, final update, at 8:28 pm KST, offering advice to others who may be in the same situation.
For those that are having a hard time because of someone… go ahead and fight instead of holding it in. Or grab a hold of someone and tell them your story.
Sleeping pills? Don’t ever eat them. There is no end to it. Don’t live like me and don’t hold it in. I hope you all live expressing yourself and doing everything that you’ve wanted to do.
— Mina