Hyuna Reveals She Has Been Diagnosed with Depression, Panic Disorder, and Vasovagal Syncope

Hyuna was first diagnosed back in 2016.
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Sophia Lee
Sophia Lee

Hyuna recently revealed to fans that she has been diagnosed with depression, panic disorder, and vasovagal syncope and what that means for her future as an idol.

View this post on Instagram

안녕 안녕하세요 우리 팬들 아잉 또는 저를 좋아해 주시고 관심 가져주시는 많은 분들 이게 맞는 선택일지 아닐지는 저도 모르겠지만 많이 생각하고 또 생각해 선택한 것이기에 진짜 제 이야기를 해 볼까 해요 사실 저는 아주 어릴 적부터 무대 위에 서려는 꿈을 갖고 있었어요 그러다 보니 꿈을 이루었고 또 생각하지도 못했던 사랑들을 관심들을 마음을 정말 많이도 받고 성장과정을 가져온 것 같아요 어린 시절부터 저에게는 유독 많은 기회들이 있다고 생각해서인지 늘 감사했고 솔직히 신났어요 그럴 때면 미안함이 들기도 했고요 그렇게 시간이 지나 제가 데뷔 이후 성인이 되었고 제가 하는 모든 일은 책임을 져야 한다 실수해서는 안 돼 누구에게나 선택받는 사람이고 싶은 욕심이 생겨 앞만 보고 달려갔어요 제가 아픈지도 모르고 있었죠 그래도 주변에 늘 함께해주시는 좋은 분들 그리고 팬들이 항상 함께였으니까 괜찮은 줄로만 알았어요 미루고 아니라며 괜찮다고 넘겨오다가 처음 2016년 병원을 가보고 나서야 알게 되었어요 저도 마음이 아픈 상태였단 걸 몸이 아프면 약을 먹는 게 자연스러운 것처럼 감기에 감기약을 먹어야 하는 것처럼 늘 단단해왔던 저였기에 우울증과 공황장애라는 진단이 믿기지 않았죠 일 년은 믿지 못 했던 것 같아요 지금은 자연스럽게 이주에 한번 꾸준히 치료받고 있고 나쁘게 생각하지만은 않으려 해요 많은 분들이 함께해주기 때문에 그러다 처음 앞이 뿌옇게 보이더니 푹하고 쓰러졌어요 여러 번 이것도 공황장애 증세 중 하나려나 하고 넘어가려다 의사선생님 말씀에 대학병원에서 뇌파 등 이것저것 검사를 해보고 알게 된 사실은 미주신경성 실신이라는 병이 있더라고요 뾰족한 수가 없는 멍했어요 무대에 서고 싶은데 내가 이렇게 자주 푹하고 쓰러진다면 내가 아프단 걸 알면 누가 날 찾아주려나 제일 먼저 걱정이 앞서서 누구에게도 알리고 싶지 않았어요 근데 비밀이란 게 오랫동안 지켜지면 좋으려만 푹푹 쓰러질 때마다 혼자 속 졸이며 미안하고 또 미안한 마음이 들더라고요 광고나 스케줄 소화 할 때면 행사할 때면 절 믿고 맡겨 주시는 많은 분들께 죄송했어요 그래서 제 마음이 조금이나마 가볍고 싶어 이렇게 솔직하게 얘기하게 되었고 조심스러웠지만 숨기지 않고 용기 내서 얘기해보았어요 앞으로도 씩씩하게 잘 지내려고 노력할 테지만 사람은 완벽할 수만은 없나 봐요 늦지 않았다고 생각하고 제 자신을 사랑하고 보살펴주려고요 지금처럼 용기 내어 솔직할 거고요 읽어주셔서 고맙고 감사합니다

A post shared by Hyun Ah (@hyunah_aa) on

The Instagram post reads as follows:

Hello, everyone. I’m not sure if this is the right decision to make for for my fans and those who like and show interest in me, but since I’ve thought a lot about it, I decided to talk about it.

The truth is, I’ve dreamt of standing on a stage ever since I was little. As a result, I ended up achieving that dream, received love and support that I didn’t expect, and grew significantly. Since I thought I had many opportunities since I was little, I was thankful and excited. And at times, I felt sorry as well. As time passed, I debuted and grew up into an adult, realized I needed to take responsibility for my actions without making mistakes, and that I was chosen, so I just ran at full speed out of greed. I didn’t even know I was sick. But since I was always surrounded by good people and my fans, I thought I was okay. I pushed it off, denied it, and then only realized it when I went to the hospital in 2016.

Since I was the type of person to naturally take medicine if my body was sick and to take cold medicine if I had a cold, I couldn’t believe my diagnosis of depression and panic disorder. I don’t think I believed it for around a year. Now, I naturally receive treatment every two weeks, and I try not to think of it as a negative thing since I so many people with me. But then for the first time, my vision turned hazy and I collapsed. I just assumed it was a symptom of panic disorder, but after a doctor at a university hospital examined my brain waves, I was diagnosed with vasovagal syncope. I just felt blank. I wanted to stand on the stage, but if I frequently collapsed and people knew about it, who would ask me to perform for them? I was worried more than anything, so I didn’t want to tell anyone. While I kept the secret for a long time, I felt bad and sorry every time I collapsed. I felt sorry to people who trusted me while I worked on advertisements and events. In order to lift the burden, I decided to be honest, and although I felt cautious, I ended up talking about it with courage, without hiding anything. I’ll do my best to continue forward with a positive attitude, but people can’t be perfect. I don’t think I’m too late, and I want to love and take good care of myself. And I’ll continue to be courageous and honest. Thank you very much for reading this.

– Hyuna

 

 

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