(★UPDATE) Jonghyun’s close friend reveals conversations they had, leading up to his suicide
Jonghyun: Do you think it’ll get better if I endure it?
Friend: I still recommend going to the hospital
Jonghyun: (Shaking his head) I’m receiving treatment but it’s not helping.
“We met together on December 1, 2017. He said he was still having a hard time but I never imagined it would end this way..”
– Anonymous Friend (to Dispatch)
“It was music, always music. He always said that he didn’t live up to the expectation of those around him. He wanted to do better but he was lacking. He felt that he was losing his place as he grew older.”
– Anonymous Friend
“He never had any problems in his personal life. He was close with his mother and sister and the only other thing he cared about was music. He always scolded himself saying that he was not good enough.
Even if you have a lot of friends it’s hard to talk about these things. He entrusted these feelings to me frequently. In early December he talked to me of death but I believed that he would overcome these things.
He couldn’t sleep without medication. He would be up on the phone all night before he finally fell asleep. He had endured so well until now that I never imagined that conversation would be our last.”
He felt like he was enduring day after day. I hoped that he would endure until the very end but now I just wish he would rest in peace. With no worries on his mind.”
– Anonymous Friend (to Dispatch)