KARD's BM Opens Up About His First Anxiety Attack Caused By The Pressures Of The Industry

KARD‘s BM recently opened up about the pressures he feels over his career.

On August 27, DIVE Studios uploaded an episode of the latest Get Real podcast on YouTube, where BM, Ladies’ Code‘s Ashley, BTOB‘s Peniel, and Eric Nam discussed the effects of the intense pressure they feel as a result of the industry they work in.

In the episode, BM detailed his most recent panic attack, and also revealed that it was the first anxiety attack he’s ever had.

He revealed that even though he had heard plenty about anxiety attacks in the past, experiencing it first-hand was something else entirely; something he was not at all prepared for and was still in the process of comprehending.

I would always hear about anxiety attacks, and like, I would look up videos of people having their anxiety attack at the time of recording it.

But dang, that’s so crazy. Like how does that happen mentally?

How do you just start crying out of nowhere and needing to scream and your breath gets all crazy?

—BM

BM then began opening up about his first anxiety attack, and revealed it happened at the time of preparing for their latest comeback. He details that he was confident about the song he had written and was excited for it, but there was some pushback from his company, who didn’t think it was the right move at the time. This pushback ultimately made him feel like the problem in this scenario was him, and that he was the one who wasn’t good enough.

In my heart, I felt like it was the perfect move. I felt like this song is that song.

So I was kinda like,

“No one’s really on board with me. I guess I’m the one that is not enough.”

—BM

BM reveals that he was disappointed because he thought he really did well with that song. He eventually went back to the studio to work, but there was a problem: he had no inspiration for new music.

I had like literally no inspirations. No songs were coming out that week.

—BM

While talking to a friend, he mentioned going back to the studio, and the friend immediately tried to dissuade him from doing so, instead encouraging him to take a break and take things easy for a while.

While he was trying to write songs, he kept hitting roadblocks.

Suddenly, his breath started becoming heavy, and he began to lose focus. As the urge to let out a scream started to build up, he grabbed a pillow and started screaming into it, and around the third scream, he began crying as he continued to yell into the pillow.

After managing to calm down a bit later, BM immediately called up his friend, and explained what had just happened to him. He then asked his friend if he had just had a panic attack, and his friend confirmed that it indeed was an anxiety attack.

I was like “Hey. This is what happened. Is this an anxiety attack?

And he was like, “Yeah, you just had your first attack.”

—BM

Even though he was the one who went through it, BM revealed that he still can’t believe that it happened, and it feels surreal to him. He closed his story by revealing that while the pressure really got to him back then, he’s totally fine now!

Most K-Pop fans know that the industry is a harsh one, and that the stress of it all often gets to the artists, impairing their quality of life. Props to BM for opening up about this difficult experience, and normalizing conversations about mental health!