Video Star hosted a segment where the cast were able to open up about their biggest concerns. Sandara Park decided to open up honestly about the most difficult time in her life.
She began to tear up as she confessed that when the group disbanded, she suffered anxiety about her future. Now that she didn’t have her 3 members next to her, she wondered what she was able to do on her own.
When we disbanded and I had to stand on my own, I suffered great anxiety wondering what I can do by myself.
It was the most difficult time for me.
— Sandara Park
She had such low self confidence because during their time as a group, she felt “useless”. She tricked herself into thinking that she wasn’t a valuable member since the other members had such strong specialized talents.
When we were together, I thought that I was useless to the group because each of my members had such a strong talent.
I thought that if I sang more, it was just detrimental to our team. I couldn’t enjoy it.
— Sandara Park
Their disbandment further spread her negative thoughts and she suffered 2 years in darkness. She lost her members and people around her who would call themselves her friend stopped reaching out all together.
Her confidence level dropped as she doubted that she could do anything well without her members.
After we disbanded, I wondered what I should do now. For about 2~3 years I had very negative thoughts and my self-confidence dropped a lot.
People who used to contact me all the time stopped contacting me at all. I lived those 2 years in darkness.
— Sandara Park
But thankfully, she was able to break out of the darkness and realize that she’s a strong woman who can do whatever she sets her mind to.
She broke down in tears as she recalled how she found the dark times valuable. She came out realizing who were really her true friends who will continue to grow with her.
But it was good in the end. I realized that the few people I had left next to me were the ones who were truly my friends.
So I’m happy these days.
— Sandara Park
Sandara began to attend activities and promotions by herself and soon realized that she wasn’t a “useless” member but someone who is valuable and irreplaceable. She was finally able to enjoy being who she was.
The only regret that she has is that she discovered herself later than earlier. She explained, “Why I feel stupid is that I realized this after we disbanded.”
I don’t know when but I realized that since CL, who always energized me, wasn’t next to me, I had to pick myself up. I started going to fan signings and performances by myself, and I realized that I was able to enjoy it.
I feel regretful of the times that I lost when I wasn’t able to be realize [my usefulness].
— Sandara Park
Although Sandara Park may have seemed to be as bright as ever during her 2NE1 days and the few years after their disbandment, she was suffering from negative thoughts.
Thankfully, she’s now found happiness in standing by herself and regained her confidence!
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